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Lex Fridman is much taken by Shannon Curry. He says so at the get-go. He’s not the only one. Me too! First met her when she gave expert testimony at the Amber Herd/Jonny Depp trial. I was much taken not just by her clear and cogent smarts, but by her beauty, her tousled hair, which we learn was because “I lost my bobby pins"(!). She’s stuck with the tousled look. Good look.
She speaks so well on relationships, the first part of this podcast. “Dating and Love”. I suspect she’s right about arranged marriages being more long-lasting than marriages for love. Also: the headiness of love: she calls it a heroin rush. Then you get over it... Shakespeare had other words for it, for love, the “violent delight”. In Romeo and Juliet:
"These violent delights have violent ends. And in their triumph die, like fire and powder Which, as they kiss, consume.” (Act II Scene VI)
I have two observations -- a mid-seventies man in second marriage -- to keep going, to get past love, the “violent delight”, to survive the “violent end”, to live in harmony and tender, mutual respect:
1. Don’t hold a grudge. After a fight, go to your corners, lick the wounds, give it some time, then get over it. For most of my life I haven’t done this. Our family are rather given to holding grudges, I think. But I’ve learned from my wife, to give it up, to not hold a grudge.
2. Use emojis to apologise. Connected with the first: the argument may be your fault. Or not. If it is, or even if it partly is (most often the case, I reckon), then apologise. But apologising is difficult. Difficult to do face-to-face. So, use emojis and send the apology by WhatsApp. I’ve found -- we’ve both found -- that you can do that more easily than face to face and it works! 👆👋
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