Here are 10 compelling reasons to vote for Democrats in 2026:
- You're tired of having a country: Countries are so blasé. The future belongs to apocalyptic wastelands.
- You're so mad about gas prices that you want literally everything else in the world to get worse: It helps take your mind off your empty wallet.
- Not nearly enough mutilated kids the last couple of years: A vote to put the Democrats back in power is a vote for transing more kids everywhere.
- It seems like it's been forever since we had a good ol' fashioned impeachment: There's no party quite like an impeachment party.
- You long for how great things were during the Biden administration: Those were the days.
- You no longer have to love others personally, because you've outsourced that to the government: The more the government does, the less you have to do yourself.
- You like it when numbers go up: Crime, taxes, illegal aliens — everything!
- Hard times make hard men: Ruining the country is a 4D chess way of forging a new generation of American heroes.
- Republicans won't force straight people to bake cakes for the gays: If they won't, someone else has to.
- As a stupid person, you believe you can only be properly represented by other stupid people: Fair point.
I don’t know about #10. There are plenty of intelligent people who will vote Dem. Just that it remains a mystery. To me, at least.
H/t the Bee
