Friday, 6 March 2020

I just remembered Joe Biden is fine

Alexandra Petri in the Washington Post:
This is a little awkward, but better late than never! I suddenly remembered that Joe Biden is a dynamite candidate, something I had forgotten over the past few months of watching Joe Biden campaign. Joe Biden is the best hope of the party and its logical standard-bearer! I am embarrassed that I forgot this for so long. I am here with Joe Biden now!
Joe Biden is fine! He is the best hope. I know I said something about how his is the politics of the past and how his rallies put me into a state of abject gloom, that when he opens his mouth and starts to say things, you never exactly relax until he has put the microphone down, but, well — that was all malarkey, and I guess I was a lying dog-faced pony soldier. Which, it turns out, is a good thing!
Actually, he is great. Actually, I feel good. He is the comeback kid. He wants things for the country in the same amount that I want them, and I feel confident that manageably sized vision will bring people together.
For a long time, I said things like “He is not a good candidate,” and “This idea that America will just snap magically back to a time that never truly existed is not the way,” and “I sure wish he’d stop massaging people’s shoulders,” but I just remembered that, actually, he is, and it is, and he should not!
I feel so confident in Joe Biden, now that he is doing so well. He has that momentum that I always knew he would have, for sure.
Please don’t show me any footage of Joe Biden saying or doing things. Or of me saying or doing things about Joe Biden, pointing out what I erroneously thought were major and obvious flaws in his candidacy. I forgot: They were not.
Biden! Obama-Biden! Obama! Doesn’t that name just fill you with confidence! Say it soft and there’s music playing! Just listen to that name and think how much you recognize it! I am endorsing him now.
We can all unite behind a candidate who definitely is charismatic maybe!
What I said before about how surely, surely the party had something better to offer — I was wrong! It does not! Happy Tuesday!

Thanks to Kyle Smith
[Related: Kevin Williamson lays in the boot]